Cow Up The Tree- when reality and surrealism entangled

Why is there a cow up the treetop?

No, this is not a riddle joke. No clever punch line is expected. Nor does the answer has anything to do with a Rock-a-Bye Baby or any road-crossing chicken.

This is a completely legitimate, sensible and precise question to be asked in Melbourne.

You see, along the Habour Esplanade of the Docklands precinct, there is such a cow hanging upside down on a tree in a ridiculously laughable position. A disproportionately fat body attached to long skinny neck and pointy little head, this Holstein-breed black and white dairy cow can be spotted from across the entrance of the Etihad Stadium, and is a peculiar sight unable to be missed by the Docklands tram riders.

The story brings us back to the Second World War, where an artist called William Dobell was commissioned to perform an odd task of building fake cows to camouflage airfields. No one knows for sure if any of those papier mache cows were actually built, nor whether the project had successfully deceived any Japanese pilots or served any of its initial purposes. Regardless, the absurd story captured the attention of John Kelly, and triggered the whimsical sense of humour of this world-renowned Melbourne-based sculptor.

After observing some photos of cattle being swept up the tree in one of those notorious flash floods in Australia, John Kelly combined the two distinct events and conceived this oddly hilarious vision of an obviously fake cow being stranded on the treetop with all four legs facing upwards. Lest there be any doubt as to the Australian-origin of the art piece, a leafless gum tree was chosen as the subject that kept the pathetic cow entangled.

The 8-metre high, 4 tonnes bronze sculpture was first placed in Paris, the city of love. The silly cow caused quite a sensation in France, till a local media attributed it as the item that “puts Paris back on modern art map”. The iconic public monument later travelled its way back to the artist’s city, climbed its way up the gum tree, and resumed its permanently awkward position in the branches.

Where: 131 Harbour Esplanade, Docklands VIC 3008

Suitcase Rummage: the vintage, handmade & uniquely secondhand

For a few times a year, a unique market place consists of vendors from all walks of life is formed at the Atrium of Federation Square. Smiling sellers carrying suitcases of all designs to the pre-arranged venue: vintage portmanteau, classic Samsonite, giant hard-shell travel luggage, iconic wheelie bags, and leather trimmed canvas trolley. When the right moment arrives, the bags are unzipped, revealing treasures and junks of all sorts.

It is a surprise party. People rummage, reach out, touch and feel the myriad of items. Second-hand clothes chaotically jumbled up in large packing spaces, inviting the general public to have a glimpse and start a bargain or a swap. Art pieces and creative handcrafts displayed beautifully, dainty hand-made jewelleries exhibited lovingly, bringing smiles to the true Zakka lovers. Unwanted branded shoes and expensive-looking camera bags spread haphazardly across the picnic rugs. Attractive price tags of $10 and $5 popping up everywhere, albeit sometimes, a good negotiation skill might get you an even better bargain for some true gems of love. 

With just $25, you can hold a stall and join in the fun as a vendor. Here, we met Taiwanese holiday visa workers trying to get rid of extra personal properties prior to a long trip home, a new mother whose baby has just outgrown those cute rompers and crocheted baby shoes, some trendy youngsters selling away their out-of-fashion accessories, and serious collectors of cultural clothes and other bric-a-brac.   

Our harvest of the day: a bright red Crumpler bag for $10 and a Korean designed wool outwear for $2.50. We left as two happy customers.

Website: http://suitcaserummage.com.au

Entrance: Free of charge
Where: The Atrium, Federation Square  

Melbourne University South Lawn Car Park – purely magical

Affectionately known as the “Mad Max car park”, this is a hidden gem possesses extraordinary features and a magical atmosphere, an amazing site still unknown by many. Silently tucked away beneath the landscape of the university’s garden, the South Lawn Car Park is more than just an ordinary, everyday parking space. This is the first underground car park in Australia, and a paragon of design that successfully integrated functionality and aesthetic value into an unexpected location.  

A pair of formidable looking sculpted figures guarded the inconspicuous entrance devoutly. Forearms lifted and heads slightly bending forward, the two life-sized Atlantes loomed menacingly over any visitors intend to proceed beyond the seemingly unending darkness. Once placed at the entrance of the now demolished Colonial Bank of Australasia, the neoclassical sculptures are remnants of history from the old Victorian era, and now a protected heritage by the National Trust.

The car park is well recognized by its numerous iconic mushroom-like short columns, cleverly designed and constructed by a galaxy of ingenious minds. The parabolic structures produce increased soil capacity giving room to the tree roots extended from above, yet at the same time, serve as a reinforced support for the roof of the car park.

The innovative design created a futuristic setting for the action-packed, Mel Gibson's film “Mad Max”. Myer discovered the place as a perfect and enigmatic venue for its recent black-tie dinner and fashion parade; the all-time favourite reality cooking show Masterchef used it as a backdrop for a dessert challenge.

The South Lawn Car Park is an imaginative space with limitless possibilities and a character impossible to be defined.

Year built: 1972

Location: Melbourne University, Parkville

Designer: Jan van der Molen

Ophelia- the enigmatic

Ophelia is a fictional character from the ingenious pen of Shakespeare. She is a victim of the patriarchal system, an object to be used and cast away. Torn between her condemned love to Hamlet and her blind obedience to her father, she eventually drove herself to madness and drowned silently in sorrow.

Under her father’s command, she orchestrated a lie and facilitated the spying on Hamlet. When her deception was uncovered, she was accused by her lover as a cheater, a “breeder of sinners”, and was asked to join a “nunnery” (an Elizabethan slang for brothel). Heartbroken and dejected, she died dramatically when she fell from a willow tree into a flowing brook.

Ophelia hence fulfilled her role as a dutiful daughter, yet suffered the loss of the love that she once steadfastly held fast.

Sitting at the Southgate Complex in Southbank, the sculpture of Ophelia overlooks the Yarra River enigmatically in her distorted form. Adorned with brightly colourful mosaic tiles, she is hard to be missed and almost impossible to be deciphered. She was once the “face of Melbourne”, perhaps controversially so, yet it was not hard to imagine her being the talk of town. She is confused and crazy, desperate yet resigned. She is metaphorical, surreal, and full of inexplicable emotions.

Meet Ophelia of Melbourne, the prominent woman that watches over the river.

Artist:             Deborah Halpern 

Where:           Southgate Complex, Southbank